It’s taken me a while to get to a point where I’ve become self aware of my actions, thoughts, feelings and decisions. One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned by going through all the tough stuff is to really think about my decisions and choices I make before I make them. It’s so incredibly easy to make a bad decision when you’re angry, sad, lonely or heartbroken; unfortunately at the time you don’t realize what you’re doing… until you do. By that point it’s too late to take it back and you’re left with the consequences of your actions. Usually wondering what you could’ve done differently. Believe me, I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit.
One of the most important things that I’ve learned in therapy, is that for situations like that to stop occurring, or at least occur way less, was to look at myself first and foremost. You’re never going to find the answers to who you are by looking for them in someone else. So often, when we are experiencing something scary or painful, we use people to distract ourselves from facing our own selves; our own pain. But those distractions can only last for so long before those feelings you neglected to cope with, rise up to the surface and things turn incredibly ugly. It happened to me.
So now I’ve come to realize that masking lonely feelings, does more harm than good. When you take care of yourself first, then happiness can truly occur. Well all have to acknowledge the bad stuff in order to heal, and be content with ourselves as individuals, before we can accept another person into that space.
You can make all the plans you want to distract yourself, but eventually you’ll need to face the music, or else the same thing will keep on happening. So do yourself a favor and take time for yourself, pamper your self, get to know yourself and work on becoming the person you truly want to be. Don’t rush the process. Be a little selfish. Put yourself first. Let yourself heal.