It’s no secret that I’ve been through hell this year. I’ve been working tirelessly the past few months to overcome every traumatic experience; every negative thought and feeling. If I’m being perfectly honest, I still have more hard work to put it, but for the most part, I finally feel like a brand new version of myself.
I no longer care what people think about me. You don’t like me? Fine. You think I’m annoying? Cool. You think I’m “making shit up for attention”? That’s your problem. Any negative thought or feeling anyone has about me, is their problem. People’s opinion of me, does not define me in anyway. I’m okay with not being liked by everyone; it drives me. It just continually makes me want to work harder and get better. So, to anyone who gossips, spreads rumors, says anything negative about me, I have to thank you. You want it to drive me crazy; instead it just drives me to continue working hard and bettering myself.
It’s funny, because the people I’ve described have never met me. They’ve never seen or spoken to me in real life, they’ve never grabbed a beer and watched a game with me. They’ve simply read things on social media and made judgements and assumptions about who THEY think I am. They don’t try to understand me, my life, or what I’ve been through. No, they just sit on social media, hide behind their computers, phones and tablets, and try to bring me down. That says a lot more about them then it does about me.
People think because I’m so open on social media, about what has happened to me this year, that I’m lying, or seeking attention. Yet, through sharing my experiences, I’ve had people come to me and express their own trials and tribulations, their own negative thoughts and feelings, their own traumas. That’s how I became so open. I came across someone who was brave enough to openly share their hardships, and it inspired me to do the same. The more people who speak up, whether it be about sexual assault, mental illness, bullying, abuse, addiction, etc., the more it leads to people doing the same thing. This lessens the stigma and the perception that these topics, these real-life situations and experiences, are too taboo to speak out about. It gives victims the bravery and confidence, to fight to overcome their struggles and regain their lives.
So, love me or hate me. Stand with me or against me. Talk behind my back or to my face. Regardless of your feelings about me, I’m going to keep doing exactly what I’m doing. You can believe whatever you want, but how you feel about me is on you. As for me, I’m going to keep writing, tweeting and sharing my stories. I’m going to keep working my butt off. I’ve come too far, to only come this far. I’ve been bettering myself, for myself, by myself. No one is going to bully me into backing down from being the strong, healthy woman that I’ve become.