The word narcissism gets thrown around a lot these days, but I don’t think people truly understand what it means. We often associate narcissism with people posting a significant amount of selfies on social media. What people don’t realize is that everyone on this earth has narcissistic tendencies; but that doesn’t make you a narcissist. So, what is a narcissist? Well, do you see that checklist above? I want you to really read that ‘narcissistic checklist’ as I refer to it. If you can check at least 8 of those 10 items off, then you know you’re dealing with a narcissist. Unfortunately for me, this was the situation that I was in. Fortunately for you, I can share my story, to help anyone reading this, recognize signs of this behavior before you get too involved.
There are some people in this world who are really sneaky and sly. They would make a great salesman or lawyer because they can talk or argue with anyone about anything. They know when to say and do the right thing, in order to get people to succumb to doing what they want. They are so charming, attentive and persuasive, you don’t even realize that it’s happening.
The sweet, charming, funny, compassionate person they portray themselves to be is a total facade. They can make anyone believe that they’re a true friend and can be trusted. They can be, and most likely are, extremely popular and likable on social media and in other social settings.
All the red flags are there, but by the time you realize they exist, the friendship or relationship runs too deep. You may even revisit conversations in order to gain some clarity. The minute you stop abiding by their expectations and giving them what they want, their true colors come out. They’ll become condescending, more manipulative, mean, invalidating and dismissive. While I was going through horrendous personal situations, I was callously dismissed during my weakest moments. I kept searching for this friend who was never really there, and all I got was someone who played the victim.
They make you weirdly dependent on them to fill their own ego, then they’ll turn around and gaslight you into thinking that you have done something to them. They’ll feed off of your vulnerability and treat you as prey, but by this point, you’ll be too logically inept to recognize that. They will feed you a bunch of lies and then lie to other people about you to cover up their original lies. They may even exploit your weakest moments, to make sure you’re the one who looks crazy; to make others believe you’re the problem.
In the end, all they will ever be are liars, cheaters and manipulators. Be careful who you give your heart and trust to whether online or otherwise. If it seems too good to be true, it definitely is.
The purpose of this piece is to inform and educate people about who they could be putting their trust into. Truthfully, everyone has to learn their own way and I can’t stop anyone from doing anything. My hope is that anyone reading this can use it to help themselves and their lives. Appearances on social media, and in general, are not always what they seem. I don’t wish anyone ill will, whatever it is they deserve is between them and karma.